Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Chill Out di Genting


Those days mmg btol memenatkan and really desperate need a rest.. so, we decide to go genting.. walaupon kami hnye lah 3 owng.. huhuhu.. it was a fun day.. ari 2 ak ade cntact dia.. dia ckp dia bz so, mmg xnak lg jmpe ak.. then ak pown proceed jew la g genting.. with apis and adik ak azra.. sumpah ramai kat sne, x boleh bla.. chinese nu year plk kan.. mmg haram jadah.. smpai awana skyway pkul 2 pm.. 4 pm baru dpt nek cable car.. gosshhh.. pale hotak dia la.. then smpai atas lak da kowl 4 smtin la.. kami pown x jd nak men outdoor, tp kami g snow world.. huhuhu.. ngan byaran yg murah, kami dpt merasa idop di lua ngara mehh.. hahahahha.. thankz to those guys yg wat ak happy.. tq

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

DIA DAN SAYA


When DIA is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind
When DIA is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply
When DIA looks at u with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around
When DIA answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,
She is not at all fine When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying
When a DIA lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever
When DIA calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention
When DIA sms's u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once
When DIA says I love you,
She means it
When DIA says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future
When DIA says "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than that

When SAYA with her,
i didn't realize she was there for me
When SAYA with her,
im always looking for a better girl
When SAYA with her,
didn't even once i appreciate her,
When SAYA with her,
I really meant it if i say I LOVE YOU TO HER..

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Untuk Mu

Baru saja kutulis namamu di diary harianku
Belum habis semua rasa bahagia kutuang
Haruskah kini kutuliskan tentang lara,
tentang kesendirian yang tak kutau akhirnya ?

Ku tau kau takkan pernah menjawabnya
Sebab kau pergi saat ku
masih ternganga
Terbuai segala pesona rasa jatuh
cinta
Haruskah kurobek semua seolah tak pernah ada ?

Hari pun silih berganti…
namun kau tetap
seperti yang dulu…
acuh dan tak peduli pada cintaku…

an hingga batas waktu ini…
slalu dan kan slalu kUpertanyakan…
ADAKAH ENGKAU MENCINTAIKU..

sayang kau di mana aku ingin bersama..


Hari berganti hari
Siang malam ku selalu ingat kamu
Sejak melihatmu
Hidupku begitu bahagia

Entah mengapa bayangan wajahmu
Begitu membuat diriku tak berdaya
Setiap kutatap matamu
Jantungku berdetak sangat cepat

Apa ini cinta?
Atau hanya perasaan sesaat saja?
Entahlah...
Ku tak dapat menjawabnya
Biarlah ini semua berjalan apa adanya


tentang dia





Its was a bright morning, I wake up with an exited expression feeling, gosh, I was so fired up.. because i will going to join my school mate to go to trip 3 days and 2 night at Cameron Highland.. we all waiting for other bus depan skola agama, dpan uma aku... then, other bus is coming, was crowded with chicks.. damm, baru aku tau our school join venture ngan SMK SAAS.. everybody from SMK S19 was blow up, semangat giler babi.. aku lak baru jew pas break up ngan girl aku from the same school gak la.. after 1 year.. so aku xde rase fired up sgt la.. beside, aku lak sibuk nak handle Food and activities for the student yg ikot.. senior la katekan.. hahaha.. then we all grak la dlm kowl 7.40am.. dalam bus sume dok usha bas blakang, my partner azmi and shahrul was in the other bus, so dorang da mcj awal2 adew hottiess dlm nie, hahahhaa... akoo lak tido kat blakang, pntang nek mende ade air-cond.. mesti akoo down.. confirm.. .


Dlm kowl 12 lebih la, we all going to take a break for lunch, bkan we all tired pown,. Bus driver la yg tired kan.. hahaha.. we all stop kat perhentian mane ntah, (x ingat), then, ade la bdak2 turun dari bus tu, sume dok tepi tingkap maa.. mane leh lpas walau 1 faces, rugi la kan.. hahhaa.. kids.. then, aku pown turun la, nak beli snikers, fav choc aku dlu.. mase tu the price was more cheaper than now, rm1.90 for 1 bar, that time aku beli 4 bar skali, wat stock.. mmg dorang ckp aku hantu coklat la.. hhuhuhu.. dalam bus aku terdengar la dorang chit chat adew hotties mate cam kucing siam.. wahaha.. bapak x bleh bla.. then, aku try la nak usha gak that time, tapi xdew la nmpak.. then, we all berenti untuk smyang jumaat, coz that time mmg ari jumaat pown.. ade la some guy yg acah2 hot bawak sneakers drang g smyang.. lngsung ilang.. stupid, da tau kampung, pakai slipa suda, xkan g trip xbwak sliper kan.. flip flop pown ilang, ni kan kasut.. after the prayer, we all continue our trip to Cameron highland..


Arrive dalam pkul 4 or 5 something la.. then, sume orang pack up nak turun Bus n going to fresh up, it was so cold.. then, aku pown turun dari bus la kan, smbil angkat my stuff, I saw her, the girl with cat eyes.. gosh, speechless, she's so gorgeous, in 5 people group, she's light up even take everybody attention.. she's have an some kind of power that can attract people, to see her.. aku pown cam tergoda jugak la kan, her shape btol2 same ngan x gf aku dlu.. so, ade feel yang cam bangsat gak la dalam diriku ini.. hahahhaa.. dalam group senior, kami ade la lebih kurang 8 orang that time.. aMie, Azam, B.O, Falai, syaruLL n ramai lagi la.. we all stay in one room.. sampai bilik tido lagi, sume owang wat activities but aku ngan b.o tido.. tired.. huhuhu.. dalam bus tido, sampai pown tido..


That night we arrange some activities, that time this cute lil girl who friends with that cat eyes girl muncul.. ntah dari mane ntah.. aku yg tak perasan, several people ada gak la yang berkenan kat this small cutie, I saw her.. she's nothing for me.. base2 jew.. the trip was so fun, then the night before balik, we all hang out together la.. ade yg masak untuk they all punye fav girl.. hahaha.. aku lak masak untuk budak2 senior.. then after dinner, chill kat lua, then lpak la ngan this girl, cat eye girl, her name is sheda, her friend we call capah and the cute one is shela.. we call her adeq.. we all pown chit chat la, that night, sheda was in front of me, di kelilingi oleh ramai guy from our school mate.. damn.. I was sitting beside shela, but I cant feel her beside me that time, because my attention mmg kat sheda...


So, I just sembg2 and ask about sheda kat shela, then dia told me la, that girl mmg ramai laki suke.. mmg pown.. hahaha... this story is not about sheda.. but this Cutes who called shela..






The trip was so fun, we already head back home, with masing kat tangan pegang Hp, ready to take they fav number I think.. hahahaha.. sotoy.. we all ada all those girl number but intend to contact sheda.. im trying to, but, there is too much competition.. so, I contact shela, inquiry for sheda.. what was I think.. hahha.. several month I contct ngan shela, after that, I continue study kat ikn rawang, (ikn is not ikan, its Institut Kraf Negara).. my dad yg masukkan, merepek jew.. I follow jew la.. then, da smpai sane still contct lagi la ngan shela,then I bz with my assgnment, I xdew credit pown that time, x contact in about 2 days, then she's called me and scold, why didn't rep her text, I was so shock, I said la xdew credit, then that nigh dia topup kan.. and start la mcj balekk.. huhuhu.. there is something in her mind isn't it..


1.7.2005 its all begin when I start to declare to her, she said, give 1 week time, I said, ok then, proceed with your decision, but that night, she accept me as her bf.. 3 percent from 1 week lorrr.. we never see each other since that Cameron trip, only see each other via phone and sms contact...


1ST time we meet each other after declare is in one week after..8th of JULY,alam central, 20 mins chit chat then she said nak balik rumah because ade hal.. then I send her to pkns complex, that was the 1st time she hold my hand and kiss me...


15th disember,pagi2 before I nak g claz, she's text me nak break up, I mnx la reason dia, she's said ade hal family.. ok la.. up to you isn't it.. lgpon baru jew couple, xdew la terasa sangat kan... then that weekend I balik uma, she said nak jumpe, we meet each other kat pyramid... then, she said she's “cannot” if im not there at her side... I just accept what in her mind.. then we have been together again.. after 1 week break up.. hahahhaa..


IM quit studying kat ikn because fighting with my lecturer.. then, I work at the Manhattan fish market restaurant, beside mfm is nando's, there I know this fish eyed girl called fira.. her eyed was big, same as gold fish, xde beza pown.. hahaha.. I called her fishy.. my relationship with shela also become more strong, from day to day.. she's put a lot of trust and love me sow much.. I was blessed.. thank god u give me a chance to happy..


She's forces me to continue study, then, I choose unisel to continue my study.. 1st day kat sane was so fucked up, I have nobody there, lucky me, fira was also study at the same place, at least ade la fwenz kan.. bullet also continue there.. wahhh.. so lega this time.. if not, tatau la jd ape kat sna.. She's had a doubt on me, she was so worried sbb I stdy kat unisel.. worried if I ade jmpe girl better than her.. there's a lot girl better than her, but still I choose her.. don't know why...


When she also continue study at perak, we didn't see each other almost 3 month.. I just accept it, because she's going to study, but not her.. then she's change places and decided to study here at selangor too.. katenyew dekat.. x jugak. But at least, weekend boleh jumpe la.. hehehe..


We never had a single fight poWn, I don't know why.. maybe we trust each other so much..

2006 and 2007 was a good year for us, we happy together, never had even a small fight or argue or anything.. sume seems so beautiful.. BUT ITS ALL START IN 2008, when me and all my uniselian going to celebrate The new year, she's going too, but I send her to my friends to take care of her while im going too have some fun.. I didn't know that she's ade kat blakang I, even I dah jauh dari dia I rase.. she's saw everything what I done.. damn.. I get scolded that night and got a fever next morning, but she's still there to take care of me, even im doing a thing that she's doesn't like..




2008 was a worst nightmare for our relationship, even ade small things, we all mesti argue, even mende tu seems so stupid.. and 2008 also is the end of our relationship for the 2nd time when that things happen after my grandma past away almost 1 week, and had a kenduri kat umah I, she's going to Malacca that time, the point is we argue about somebody else gf.. the topic was so stupid, yet its give a makan dalam punye feel.. a week I x contct dia, dia just contact I pown skali jew, 1 mcj and 1 call hari rabu... then, saturday after we all not see each other, she said she saw me, she was behind me, and said I buat2 xnmpak dia.. of course xnmpak because she is not in front isn't it.. I don't have back eyed.. that night she told me she doesn't want to be with me anymore... for the 1st time, I didnt feel ape2 la.. but if she's not there, I feel lonely, sick and tired, I cannot describe how I feel that day..


Almost 3 month she's not there for me, but still contact2 la.. 1 day, we meet each other, she's seems so garang... I dah takot gle, but still act cool la.. then pegi tasek, she's look so angry, I dah mcm, wtf nie.. so I wat bodo and bagi ikan makan, while dia and fira chit chat ape ntah.. then after send her back home, she's give me a text message”nape u xamik I td, nape u bia I balek ngis cmnie”.. my phone doesnt have a credit plak that time, fuck up towl, tros going to store find a topup then text her back that im going to pick up her tonight.. when that sms arrived, I was so damn happy, its just feel like stret a dalam spm I think.. hahhaa.. I was so blessed, that night we going to makan2, and talk, not much but still bermakne for me..


After that, we always see each other, loving each other, care about each other.. smpaila kejadian yg dimana I di knalkan oleh rakan2 ke 1 social webpage yg di beri nme facebook.

I just create my acc and add as much as I can.. sume gurl lak 2.. ahahah.. laki maa.. base la.. sume laki cam2.. kan.. same goes to gurl pown.. then, ade la minah nie, hot gak la dlm fb nie, I saje la mcj2 dia, xbajet pown dapat, suddenly this girl I called E, had a crush on me.. wtf.. then, I told all my friends about E, they said, proceed... if u can take her, u are my idol, hahahhaa... then, I do it... I lie to shela, a lot of lie, lie and lie some more.. even mende da kantoi, I still find a jalan to lie and escaped.. she's know when im liyng to her, but still she's not tell me, or anyone.. she's just some kind of bia jew la.. mlas dahh... lebey kurang la.. I know she's hurt a lot, but still im not recognize that painful that dia tanggung..


FB da kantoi when she's finally find out the truth about E, she printed out all the evidence.. (csi maa)

then she's try to see I nak lie kew x, when she's said ade FB X, I said xde, She's said lagi please jgn lie, ckp jew ade kew x.. so, in my mind, im screwed.. I just fucked up... she's know everything..

argghhhh... but still she's had a kesabaran yg tinggi la, we didn't break up, we just have a normal relationship after that..


1 day, I dont know what she's trying to pull out, she's contact that E gurl, and have a chit chat to her about me... damn, again im busted.. I believe she's not trust that girl, but she's really mad when she saw my comment with that girl, that im saying she's just my old friends, I didn't meant that.. but still, she's doesn't want to believe it..


There goes the story of 2009 year ended.. she's again leave me in 9th January of 2010.. this time, she's really mad.. I want to explain it but its too late, she's don't want to see me again, even doesn't want to contact me again.. im trying so hard to get her back.. and still im trying to do so.. I love her so much, but I cant see that when I have her, when I lose her, baru I realize..


She's had something yang other people xde... she's had a happiness, dia boleh buat somebody happy and feel it in her.. im so afraid that see gone.. dengan hanya sedikit malu, I harus akui yang I btol2 sayang dia, even I fucked up every time, I should not love her, because I xpernah knal erti cinta dia.. she's always asking about, asmara kita,akankah lama??? what could I answer, I just nak cerita cinta I terindah bagaikan dalam dongeng... but still its just a dongeng, right... dia berubah saat dia mngenali E, I mnyesal giler, bila cinta xlagi untuk I,bila hati xlagy pada I,bila ixbaik untuk u,mungkin ade bhagia lain untukmu, msti lpaskan mu walau hati xrela...


Dia xpernah tau how much I love her, dia hanya tau how much her love me.. dia xpernah rase di tnggalkan, hanya yang ada just me.. rase mcm kene tinggal kat higway karak then nak balek kelantan jalan kaki.. so sad, tired, sakit hati, sedih sangat, xtau nak rase ape lagy.. dia hanya cakap dia dah xboleh terima I lagi selepas ea bace comment kat fb sahaje.. ist it adil for me.. if its so, I just accept it.. what can I said.. this is the punishment for me.. I already learn the lesson.. beside, I already grown up, there is no time for me to find other, I just keep in believe that she's there for me.. I promise my self, I will wait for her.. but sampai bile.. if some day I saw her with other guy, did I need to wait lagii.. if I don't see her anymore, what I need to do... is that any possibilities for me to get her back?? I really2 regret it, 100 times I cakap kat dia pown, she's still doesn't believe me, when what im express to her is really2 from my heart.. I cant lie to my heart... everything was inside my mind, I cant take it when im teringat kat dia.. every moment.. every my breath is her, how can I forget her, stop breathing??? isn't it..

And I was thinking to myself, This could be Heaven or this could be Hell' .. Fairytale s don't always have a happy ending, do they...